Being authentic is one of the most important attributes you can possess. The simple adage, ‘be yourself’, is correct, as trying to be someone else is impossible. Your unique fingerprint alone is a good reminder of this, not to mention any of the other million ways you’re different from the rest of the world.
But, being authentic should integrate with your ability to mesh with others, if possible. In fact, many men with great charisma are able to connect with many, and still maintain their authenticity.
I worked in finance for a time, and I was fortunate enough to share a wall with a man named Kevin, one of the 5 best advisors among the thousand at our firm. One day, when I was assisting him with a client of his, he told me, “this gentleman loves to be spoken to in a very abrupt manner, without any fluff. He actually gets very angry when conversations have too much fluff, so I get right to it when I talk to him. Most of my clients aren’t like that, though.”
Was he being disingenuous? Absolutely not. As I knew Kevin, it wasn’t his natural inclination to speak that way, to people but he showed flexibility in his personality to connect and serve his client. If you have the opportunity to work near someone great, or pick the brains of a highly talented individual, take it. Remember what I told you long ago: great men and women have great mentors.
Now, back to you. If it’s your desire to develop your charisma, or simply be “good with people,” know that you certainly can. First, it is essential that you keep a honest interest in your fellow man (this includes women). This world is simply an enormous village.
One’s actions affect everyone, therefore, everyone is important. Be thoughtful about their pleasures, pain points, and fears. Finally, be your amazing, constantly improving, authentic self.
Your combination of genuine thoughtfulness and innate authenticity, will be one of the many things people love and respect about you.
Wisdom for your journey:
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.” — Dale Carnegie, 1936.