Speak up early and often

Adversity appears in all areas of your life. People are going to test you. Your boss, your lady, enemies, and everyone in between will test you. You must put fear aside and speak up for yourself. Your quality of life depends on it.

Let me tell you what no one else will. People will respect you more when you call them out and hold them accountable — even if they’re uncomfortable with the confrontation. You don’t have to be spiteful, or rude; but you must be direct and forward. Everyone is to be held accountable, especially those who are close to you. Avoiding conflict is sometimes seen as a benefit, but in the long-run, it is a detriment. Words and a spirit of self-respect are all you need.

I don’t advise that you seek out trouble, or love confrontation, but holding back for too long will eventually weaken you. Firstly, anything you do increases the motivation behind it. This is why new habits are somewhat hard to develop, and old habits can be hard to kick. Also, biting your tongue and holding back for too long will build up silent and secret rage that will poison you internally, and manifest either in the form of weak passive aggression, or an overall explosion. Both are ineffective for your long-run success, as they breed a lack of self-control, and a lack of self-respect. Don’t wait to speak up for yourself.

I’m not asking you to get into a bar fight with a random stranger for spilling his drink on you, or walk around looking for unnecessary confrontation. But, when your co-worker talks down to you, or tries to throw you under the bus in a meeting, you must speak up. If your roommate becomes inconsiderate or out-right rude, you have to speak up. When your lady becomes disrespectful (in public or private), call it out and put an end to it quickly.

The instant you speak up for yourself, people may look perplexed, or hurt, especially if you haven’t stood up for yourself in the past. But, they will quickly learn that you are not a pushover, and will respect you for it. Many people will secretly become more fond of you.

Remember, people don’t do whatever they like, they do what you let them do.

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