I am only able to write this letter after years of my own thrashing, running, and fleeing, to no avail. I once thought that my problems were because of my city, my boss, or some other convenient excuse. I was wrong.
Of course, my environment was an influence, but its effect decreased over time, especially when I became an adult. I was — and still am — the common denominator in all of my experiences. Negative and positive. Going deeper, the knots of self defeat and misfortune in my life had a common thread. I suspect this may be the same for you.
The truth is, your unresolved personal defects will follow you wherever you go. If one of your biggest gripes about your life is not getting respect from people, it likely manifests in more than one area of your life. A lack of self-respect cripples a romantic relationship, but it also damages your career, how your children treat you, and so on. If you’re a doormat at work, there’s a good chance you’re doormat at home. The most consistent–and most important variable in this equation– is you. You are the one who will end your own suffering. When looking for the source of your life’s problems, look in the mirror. When looking for a solution, look in the mirror again.
I do not gloat when I share this with you. This wisdom has only come from my own years of pain and confusion, until I finally noticed that the bulk of my grief stemmed from my own patterns of self defeat.
On the bright side, the benefits from improving shortcomings in your character will permeate throughout every aspect of your life.
Your ghosts will follow you forever, unless you put them to rest. Quite literally, your problem will never go away unless you deal with it. Self defeat doesn’t have to be a part of your life forever.
Wisdom for your journey:
The real voyage of discovery does not consist in looking for new landscapes, but in seeing with new eyes.” — Marcel Proust